Lack of Inspiration

I haven’t felt very inspired lately. Yet, I looked up the word, and the dictionary said inspiration has its origins in theology: a divine influence directly and immediately exerted upon the mind or soul.

Now, that I have been experiencing, but it sure hasn’t shown up in the way I am used to feeling inspired. My inspiration used to come from this unbounded, almost infectious joy, which I felt could be conveyed to another. I have had such a passion for what the human spirit is capable of; the ability to overcome almost any odds one encounters. No matter the dilemma or apparent obstacle life seems to throw ones way, I am amazed how, given the right context, anybody can come through it shining.

Over the past year, I have been challenged to the core. And I haven’t felt very inspired. I’ve felt heavy, sluggish, and at times bogged down by grief. Yet, in practicing what I preach, I haven’t avoided it. I’ve been with it. And at its core, I have found this divine influence exerting itself on my soul. Tempering me. And in the depths of the lack of inspiration, there is inspiration. There is this enormous desire to live from a new perspective, not held down by the structures in my life that I have had to let go. I am amazed that whatever life brings my way – whether it is a welcome gift or an unfathomable sorrow – if I don’t resist it, it opens me up to the miraculous wonder which cannot be contained. My heart has broken. My life has fallen apart. Yet, out of the ashes there rises a new me, with a greater capacity for love. I feel inspired again.

Today I was given the gift of meeting with a Fertile Soul retreat participant who has gone through her own dark night; whose life has taken an unexpected turn. We connected as two souls, sharing this journey, where there are no promises of secure happy endings. When we can accept that fully, we can live in the wonder and delight of the ever-unfolding unknown. She stepped out of the Cinderella story and into a breath taking, adventurous, razor’s edge life. She’s living a lion-hearted courageous existence where life is living her, fully, finally! We shared again in this infectious inspiration. No need for a comfortable, happy ending; there is no ending.