Can Women Make New Eggs?

A new study confirmed the underlying belief, unproven, that the ovary contains deep, hidden stem cells, capable of becoming new eggs. It was previously believed that a woman’s ovarian potential was determined before birth, and was incapable of being improved upon. While science hasn’t been able to study ovarian potential from healthy, living ovarian tissue, rodent studies have supported the idea that mammalian ovarian cells have a potential to produce new cells. Yet, the only tissue science has previously had to study was pathological or diseased tissue, removed from the body. It was previously proven that menopausal ovaries, when placed in a younger, healthier body, were capable of ovulating again. Science does not know how, why, or under what circumstances those stem cells can produce eggs. The ovaries respond to cues from the internal environment (the blood circulation, hormones, nutritional status, oxygenation, stress hormones in the blood., toxin and antioxidant levels…) and create a follicular environment to mimic the body’s internal response to its external environment. It is within that follicular environment that the eggs (which have been in a dormant state since before birth) undergo meiosis, and wait to see if they will be selected for maturation and ovulation.

Knowing that ovarian tissue is capable of producing new eggs, and knowing that primordial follicles remain dormant until called into circulation by communicating with the body’s internal environment (which is based on her emotional interpretation of the external environment), let me provide a couple of stories from women I have treated.

A woman underwent high dose radiation and chemotherapy, which “killed” her ovaries. She conceived naturally.

A woman in ovarian failure, with an FSH value over 100, conceived naturally.

A woman conceived during her 7^th IVF at age 47.

A woman conceived naturally with ¼ of one ovary.

A woman conceived naturally with only one ovary on the left, and only one fallopian tube, on the right.

A woman gave birth to her first child, conceived naturally, at age 48.

The body is capable of miraculous feats, when provided the right cues. I am less concerned with how to manipulate stem cells in the lab ten years from now, than I am with providing the right environment where the body can call upon its deepest, dormant potential now. While the examples might be clinical anecdotes and not research worthy, the beauty of these stories is that each of the women above had to call upon a higher potential within. According to Chinese medicine, the energy that stirs this primordial potential comes not from the Kidneys (which govern the ovaries), but from the Heart (Spirit’s) interaction with the primordial potential within the ovaries. Energetically, ones highest potential must reach into one’s most basic potential. When an internal pressure cooker is provided (like the fertility journey,) an internal state of tension is produced, requiring one to call upon this higher level of interaction. If it isn’t accessed, the HPO axis continues on its previous (horizontal) pathway of decline. When a woman can access her heart’s highest potential, we can consider it an evolutionary jump, calling upon that hidden (vertical) potential to now manifest at a higher level.

Control vs. Allowing

If you are on the fertility journey, you have undoubtedly been told by those blissfully ignorant of the frustration this journey brings, comments like: “Just let go and it will happen.” Or, “I had a friend who adopted and became pregnant when she gave up control.” I offered a retreat a few years back whose theme was, Letting Go. One very high-strung woman arrived and said, “I didn’t come here to let go; I came here to have a baby!” At our last retreat, one woman recognized, “I’ve been so wound up trying to force myself to let go, I’ve been controlling more than if I simply let myself control.” Tight control vs. letting go are two ends of the same spectrum. When we are trying to move the scales over to one side vs. the other, it is still control. It is impossible to falsely induce a state of letting go at this level, because we are invariably going to find ourselves being tugged from one side to the other.  Albert Einstein said, “You can never solve a problem on the level on which it was created.” So how do we move beyond the pendulum of control to a new paradigm? You might start by inquiring within:

What is the underlying desire whose fulfillment you are trying to control?

How do you think you can control its manifestation?

Do you have to alleviate the desire in order to let go?

Can you attend to your heart’s desire while you let go of how you think it must be fulfilled?

Keep your attention on yourself, right now. Attend to the open spaciousness within, the hope you feel in your heart, and the longing that arises to bring forth life. That’s it. Do what you can to restore balance. Balance can’t be forced. It is in harmony with the rest of your life. Let the universe run itself, and attend to your own inner state of being. Don’t attend to yesterday’s errors or tomorrow’s fears. Stay at home, in the wellbeing within your own heart.

There is no need to control your thoughts or emotions, either. Be as you are. Allow life to flow through you, authentically, as it will. Any forced state of positivity is only more control. Don’t you think that the soul of a future child will be drawn to you as you are rather than a forced state of controlling their manifestation? Provide life an outlet, and more will come through.

Be scared. Be sad. Be messy. Have a tantrum about this sucky journey. Stomp and scream when you’re angry. Laugh when you’re happy. Live life fully. Get off the spleen qi diet for a few days. Stop taking your vitamins and herbs. Throw out the BBT charts.  Exercise how you want to rather than how you should. Make love when you have the urge rather than according to the ovulation predictor kits. Find the joy of no control. Act as if you were three and didn’t know any better, and you may find yourself in an open flow of life rather than a static, sterile, controlled approach. Let life live you, breathe you, think you, and emote through you. Let life come through you as it will, in every way. Your hormones will love it!

The Fertile Soul Comes to Omaha - March 23-25

Dr. Randine Lewis, author of The Infertility Cure and founder of The Fertile Soul Method^TM, will offer this Workshop in conjunction with Donna Huber (Thirteen Moons Acupuncture) to focus on the unique challenges couples and individuals face through the fertility journey. We will incorporate five-element energetics, our foundational retreat process, diagnosis, qi gong exercises, diet, massage/acupressure, energy healing, nutritional enhancement, and healing support in a comfortable group environment. Our LOWEST tuition of the YEAR is offered for this event ONLY! The retreat begins on Friday, March 23 (starting time around 3pm) and goes through Sunday, March 25 (closing time around 6pm).

For more information and registration, check out our site here: http://thefertilesoul.com/shop/retreats/re12-0323-the-fertile-soul-retreat

or contact us: info@thefertilesoul.com

Emergence

Once a month I conduct a community call with our community of TCM fertility experts, dealing with real life issues that show up as mental, emotional or physical imbalances, including infertility. Today we talked about the energies of emergence. As we move from winter into spring, nature expresses the energy of emergence. The seeds that have been hidden under ground sprout into shoots, which emerge through the soil as the hidden potential is being manifest.  This very same energy is behind the reproductive capacity of a human being.

The water element, carried by the kidney system of energies, governs our genetic and reproductive potential, and how it can be either strengthened into a strong push of emergence, or depleted where its potential withers before it has a chance to emerge.

We looked at what constitutes that hidden potential. According to Chinese medicine, its basis is a strong sense of ones innate being, that gives rise to the will to live fully and reproduce oneself in the world. Physical means to support these energies are

through adequate sleep, rest, quiet, meditation, a warm foot soak in Epson salts, eating seeds, and nourishing foods like eggs with high potential energy, qi gong, reproductive and femoral massage, and acupuncture and herbs that tonify the kidney essence.. The strongest way to nourish the potential of the kidney energies is to know oneself fully, down to the core, without any masks or roles giving us our identity.

These potential energies can also be depleted by too much exercise, excitement, stimulation, not enough restoration and sleep; eating foods with low potential energy like refined carbohydrates and simple sugars. They are also held back by unexamined fears, which can lurk in the depths and drive unconscious behavior. Fears like “My life will not be worth anything if I don’t have a child.” These types of unconscious fears are counter to knowing and accepting oneself down to the core. When we move into these fears and acknowledge them, they lose their hold over us.

I invite you to look at these fears that might hold you back and bring them into the light where they have no power.  What gives your life worth right now? Can you look at the value of your life without any roles, relationships, or external identities?

From here, the depths of your own inherent worth, there is potential for what can be. What emerges forth as your heart’s greatest longing? Sure, it comes in the form of the desire to have a child. But instead of holding onto the picture of a child as a goal oriented pursuit, bring it into an embodied reality. When you feel the desire for a child arise, what does it feel like in your body? What is the direct, felt experience of what you think it will feel like when that desire is fulfilled? Instead of waiting for the goal to be reached (a stressful pursuit which depletes the kidneys and obstructs the liver), bring it out of the mind and into the body. Feel the visceral sensation of its fulfillment. What does it feel like? Unconditional love? Joy? Feel those feelings now.

Turn your vision within. Find the source from which these energies arise. Look at what might be obstructing them. Let your deepest fears be uncovered. Move beyond them, so you can experience the fullness of your heart’s desire. Take it out of the mind, which will give it a picture, and instead plant the feeling in your body. Let that feeling guide you.

Finally, what is the ground of your life, as it is, that will be nourishing this seedling? How have you been nourishing your life? How much space is there in your life right now for yourself? For a child? What types of emotions are circulating through your system? Is it conducive to allowing new life to emerge? And can you cultivate a sense of faith that life, as it is, can find its way through you?

We will be working with these most potent energies of emergence at our next retreat. I hope to see you there.

A Tough Old Egg

“My whole life, I’ve done everything right, and look where it got me.”

- Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

The fertility journey of a woman over 40 is a tenacious pursuit, requiring a tremendous amount of fortitude. The mature fertility patient musters up all of the drive and determination of her past decades of achievement, and goes into overdrive to try to reach her goal. She will stop at nothing – researching, studying, consulting doctors of various specialties, taking her temperature, getting her hormones tested and reproductive organs evaluated, taking herbs and supplements, adjusting her diet and lifestyle, reducing stress; and still they say her chances are dismal. Further fueling the purposeful resolve; she rolls up her sleeves, more determined than ever to summon up all the power of women who have ever overcome odds to achieve their goal. Like Thelma & Louise, reaching the end of a desperate journey, they become risk takers, doing things they normally wouldn’t do, and trading hope for courage. They become tough; hardening the exterior to protect themselves from a most terrifying notion – what if the statistics are true?

A recent research of reproductive literature revealed the following quotes:

“As a woman eggs age, their shells become harder, keeping sperm out.”

“Assisted hatching involves the use of laser to thin the zona pellucida (outer shell) of the fertilized egg, prior to transfer into the uterus. It is believed that this outer shell becomes thicker and hardened with aging of the oocyte.”

The follicular fluid of the developing egg contains other markers of stress , too, like hormonal fluctuations, and evidence of low oxygenation. Now, who would expect anything different? Women who are in a state of desperate pursuit send their bodies into a state of mind over matter, and it shows up in the physical – down to the cellular level. The ovaries become a repository for this toughness. During a guided inner meditation, one retreat participant reported:

“I visualized my ovaries wearing army helmets. I had put them through a war with my demands of them, never allowing them to recover between cycles, just demanding more, more  more!  I never allowed them a state of receptivity; or allowed them to be rejuvenated or nourished. I demanded action of them, as I had always demanded perfection and overachievement of myself, and they were exhausted. They needed protection. What kind of mother does that? How could this type of attitude that I had perfected my whole life, not be reflected inside?”

As Mary Oliver so eloquently put it in her poem, Wild Geese,

You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -- over and over announcing your place in the family of things.

Please allow yourself to stop being tough. We teach you many ways to improve ovarian health, but you must be in a state where you allow it to take hold at the cellular level. Allow yourself to drop into the deep, inner nourishment, where nature allows the miraculous. Your inner body reflects the state of your mind. Become receptive, and open to life.

2012 - The Year of the (Water) Dragon

Beginning with the next new moon, we enter into the year of the water dragon, deep and fierce. There is a dragon asleep in the heart of humanity. From the depths of the ocean, this dragon rises to the surface, beckoning us into the most fierce approach to life - to awaken to the fire breathing magnificence of our own miraculous power. Some will heed it's power, and some will turn away from its call.

We are not the small beings we have taken ourselves to be; and are not, in fact, what we think we are. We are not victims of life, nor are we at its mercy. We are life itself, and as such are beyond such happenings as birth and death. Our own unfathomable being is so grand that it cannot be contained in a body or a mind. These are mere reflections, vehicles through which our divine magnificence peers through into this three dimensional existence. The face of your own divinity will devour all illusion.

When the power of this dragon is awakened, it will stop at nothing. It is propelled by the fiercest force in all of existence - to know itself as all. This force will consume you and all you have known until it comes to rest in the cave of stillness, knowing its source, containing the pure potential from which all arises.

If you dare to awaken this dragon, it will consume all of its manifestations. It will see past the illusion of the dream made self. It will face and devour all of your fears, angers, sorrows, and conditional love, joy, and happiness. It will not rest until it resides in the unborn grandeur of the unconditioned, in peace that cannot be understood; only lived.

This dragon cannot die. It has never not been. It has always been there, sleeping in  the cave of your own heart, waiting for your invitation. It brings you to the power many dare not encounter. Do not be afraid to come face to face with your own terrible magnificence. You are the life you have been longing for. You have taken birth for this chance. Dare to use the power of the dragon to awaken to the life giving powers of creation arising from the depth of your own being.

Can Foods Make You Fertile?

I was recently interviewed for an article by The Daily Beast, entitled “Can Foods Make You Infertile?” The author wanted to substantiate some research claims about foods that were good and bad for your fertility. It is an interesting piece. I still take issue with the study on whole milk and ice cream being good for your fertility, but they were not looking for refuting evidence; only substantiating evidence. Milk is not good for your fertility, but fat is. Milk fat, butter fat, Omega-3s, coconut oil, flaxseed oil… I still advise avoiding cow dairy products, and including plenty of non-trans fat. Other than that, here is the list from the Daily Beast: 1. Men who drink at least a quart of cola daily have sperm counts almost 30 percent lower than men who drink no cola.

2. Women who eat lots of low-fat dairy products face an 85 percent higher risk of ovulatory infertility than women who consume little or no low-fat dairy products.

3. Men who eat large quantities of soy-based foods produce 32 percent less sperm per milliliter than men who consume no soy-based foods.

4. Women who consume at least one daily serving of whole milk are more than 50 percent less likely to experience ovulatory infertility than are women who consume less than one serving of whole milk per week.

5. Men who are exposed to large quantities of bisphenol-A (BPA), a chemical used in the manufacture of canned foods, have sperm counts about 23 percent lower than men with no BPA exposure.

6. Vegan women are only one-fifth as likely to have twins as are vegetarian and omnivorous women.

7. Men with high concentrations of trans-fatty acids in their semen have 96 percent fewer sperm than men with low concentrations of trans-fatty acids in their semen.

8. Women who consume at least one alcoholic beverage per day have a nearly 50 percent greater risk of ovulatory infertility than women who drink no alcohol.

9. Women who are exposed to large quantities of perfluorooctanoic acid (PFOA), a synthetic chemical used in the linings of microwave-popcorn bags, face an infertility risk ranging from 70 percent to 134 percent higher than that of women with the least amount of PFOA exposure.

10. Men who eat a traditional Dutch diet have sperm counts nearly twice as high as do men who eat a fish-and-produce-based diet.

11. Women who eat large quantities of omega-3 fatty acids are 22 percent less likely to be diagnosed with endometriosis—a common cause of infertility—than women who eat little or no omega-3s.

12. Women who consume large quantities of non-heme iron—the kind found in lentils, spinach, and supplements—have a 40 percent lower risk of ovulatory infertility than women who consume little or no non-heme iron.

13. Women who consume at least 5 percent of their daily calories in the form of vegetable protein rather than meat protein have a 50 percent lower risk of ovulatory infertility than women who consume only meat protein.

14. The sperm of men who consume very low quantities of antioxidants is only two thirds as motile as the sperm of men who consume high quantities of antioxidants.

15. Men whose mothers ate beef at least seven times a week while pregnant with them are three times as likely to have low sperm counts as men whose mothers ate less beef while pregnant.

For the complete article, see:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/12/09/can-food-make-you-infertile-foods-to-eat-and-avoid.html

Fertility Is Within

From the roaring silence of the unborn, life longs to emerge. Pregnant with pure potential, life springs into being with the friction of opposing vital forces, inviting a new life to begin. Ovulation, intercourse, ejaculation, fertilization, zygote, embryo, fetus, baby, child, adult, longing to bring forth life anew.

Will life emerge from the desire that you carry? Nobody knows. What is certain is this – you cannot force life from external measures.

Sure, procedural medicine can try to force sperm into egg, but that’s where the advances of modern medicine begin and end in the fertility world.

The miracle of life, however, is endless.

Fertility is an inside job.

One of the most ancient texts of medicine in existence tells us that all disease begins with the spirit, and manifests in the body/mind. All healing comes from the spirit, and emerges from your own heart. The meridian that connects the heart to the womb and allows life to be made manifest, has no points of its own. It is too deep for any external force to manipulate. Fertility is an inside job.

One of the best fertility meditations I know is to quiet the body and mind, and feel into the spaciousness of your own body. As you breathe in, imagine the connection from your heart to your womb. Feel yourself carry the life-giving blood from the heart to the uterus with every inhalation, and with every exhalation allow yourself to release any tension between the uterus and the heart. Keep opening up further and further with every breath, and eventually you can merge your awareness with the source of life itself. It is not anywhere else but within.

Falling Pregnant

Trying to make ourselves pregnant is like trying to force sleep. It doesn’t work very well. We fall pregnant just like we fall asleep - effortlessly. Only those who have difficulty sleeping try various methods to get to sleep; most of them fail. Those that are effective are methods which allow their troubled minds to rest, so that the deeper state of restoration takes over. Chinese medicine has a concept of Xin, or heart-mind, which is different than the thought based, conceptual mind, which demands answers, as if it could control life. Xin holds the deeper wisdom of life itself, which is perfectly comfortable not knowing. It moves from the space where miracles occur. It understands that all of life is wondrous in its expression. When an individual resides in her heart-mind, she allows life to move through her effortlessly. She seems to create miracles around her.

What are some ways to move into the space of Xin? Stop letting the thought-based mind lead. Get out of the books, off the internet chat rooms, and touch into the space of your own heart. Literally bring your attention to your heart, as your mind quiets. Let it reveal its own quiet wisdom to you, as you loosen your attention on the demands of the world. Listen to your own intuition instead of giving your power to the medical professionals.

Our attention goes where we direct it. When we direct out attention into the repetitive thought obsessed mind, we are dominated by the brain’s beta-waves. In this state, our blood pressure is highest, our adrenal glands put out more stress hormones, our growth hormone output is minimum, and our blood flows away from the internal organs to feed the brain and eyes. We are not in a receptive state.

When we direct our attention to deeper aspects of our body-mind, especially the heart space, and away from thoughts, worries and concerns, we can access alpha, theta, and delta brain waves, where we drop into deeper states of relaxation. The body directs its inner attention away from the adrenal glands and sympathetic nervous system, and provides more blood flow to the internal organs. Stress hormones decrease. Growth hormones increase. The brain’s feel good chemicals increase.  Our digestive system functions more effectively. And most importantly, the receptivity of our reproductive system improves.

Sleep is a receptive process of allowing. It cannot be forced. So is conception. Feel the beauty in the idea of falling pregnant. Allow yourself to feel whatever resistance you have to the idea, too. It can feel quite threatening to require yourself to “allow” rather than struggle. Many of us are conditioned to feel like the struggle is necessary to achieve the desired outcome. If only this were true – you know you’d already be pregnant. It isn’t true. What’s true is that you already have that which it takes. I invite you to experience your own heart’s wisdom and move into the space where miracles occur.

Dr. Randine Lewis hosts Fall Retreat in Asheville, NC

Fall Retreats: $250 off with Registration with code: "THANKSGIVING" Join Randine Lewis for The Fertile Soul Retreat experience, this November and December, in the beautiful city of Asheville, NC. The holidays are a wonderful time to reconnect with your deepest energies and replenish. If you want to find out more about payment plans or scholarships please contact our registrations department. We hope you will be able to join us at either of our Asheville NC retreats this fall (November 3-6 or December 9-12) and share in the bounty that is there for the taking. Please use the code "thanksgiving" at checkout to take advantage of the $250 off fall retreats.

Secondary Infertility

Next week, one of our Continuing Excellence in Fertility Professionals (CEFP) members will be co-leading an educational call with me on secondary infertility. There arises a whole host of confusing body-mind issues when there is difficulty after one already has one or more children. Wikepedia defines secondary infertility as difficulty conceiving after already having conceived (and either carried the pregnancy to term or had a miscarriage). Secondary infertility is not present if there has been a change of partners (this follows tautologically from the convention of speaking of couples, rather than individuals, as being infertile; if there is a change of partners, then a new couple is created, with its own chances to be infertile.)

I can’t help but snicker at the last comment, “with its own chances to be infertile.” The conventional medical approach always focuses on what can possibly go wrong. Unfortunately, the more one focuses on what can go wrong, the more likely it will manifest. But I digress.

I suffered from “secondary” issues. I had no trouble conceiving my daughter. Once you have experienced the miracle of giving birth to a child, it brings up an added element of frustration – why can’t I do what came so easily before? Now you compound that with a hefty dose of guilt for wanting more of what you already have, and you become an energetic mess inside.

After you give birth to a child, your entire physiology can change. Energetically you might become deficient in blood or essence. Your spirit energies might be scattered. Your qi may become depleted. Your body may become more reactive, and reject another pregnancy. Your relationship with your partner may have changed. You may feel more strain in your life with less support. The demands of motherhood change you at every level. If you “try” from a deficient energetic starting point, it will be more difficult. When you add the guilt and frustration to the equation, the pattern of imbalance can consist of deficient blood, and stagnated qi, not allowing access to the already deficient reproductive essence.

When we view the individual presentation through the lens of TCM, we address the pattern, deal with the stagnated qi brought about by the conflicted emotions, and open up to life again.

Every pregnancy is different. You are a different person with every pregnancy. In fact, you change with every menstrual cycle. Certain patterns repeat themselves, especially the more you have habituated yourself in these imbalanced patterns of expression.

The good news is, when these patterns are identified and corrected, fertility can open up again. I’d like to make a new definition of secondary infertility that includes a deeper ability to pay attention to how life is affecting an individual, right now, that may be different than in the past. It actually provides us with an opportunity to become more fertile than ever before.

Lack of Inspiration

I haven’t felt very inspired lately. Yet, I looked up the word, and the dictionary said inspiration has its origins in theology: a divine influence directly and immediately exerted upon the mind or soul.

Now, that I have been experiencing, but it sure hasn’t shown up in the way I am used to feeling inspired. My inspiration used to come from this unbounded, almost infectious joy, which I felt could be conveyed to another. I have had such a passion for what the human spirit is capable of; the ability to overcome almost any odds one encounters. No matter the dilemma or apparent obstacle life seems to throw ones way, I am amazed how, given the right context, anybody can come through it shining.

Over the past year, I have been challenged to the core. And I haven’t felt very inspired. I’ve felt heavy, sluggish, and at times bogged down by grief. Yet, in practicing what I preach, I haven’t avoided it. I’ve been with it. And at its core, I have found this divine influence exerting itself on my soul. Tempering me. And in the depths of the lack of inspiration, there is inspiration. There is this enormous desire to live from a new perspective, not held down by the structures in my life that I have had to let go. I am amazed that whatever life brings my way – whether it is a welcome gift or an unfathomable sorrow – if I don’t resist it, it opens me up to the miraculous wonder which cannot be contained. My heart has broken. My life has fallen apart. Yet, out of the ashes there rises a new me, with a greater capacity for love. I feel inspired again.

Today I was given the gift of meeting with a Fertile Soul retreat participant who has gone through her own dark night; whose life has taken an unexpected turn. We connected as two souls, sharing this journey, where there are no promises of secure happy endings. When we can accept that fully, we can live in the wonder and delight of the ever-unfolding unknown. She stepped out of the Cinderella story and into a breath taking, adventurous, razor’s edge life. She’s living a lion-hearted courageous existence where life is living her, fully, finally! We shared again in this infectious inspiration. No need for a comfortable, happy ending; there is no ending.